Q: What an incredible story, Melanie! I know you're a mom - how did this experience change how you mother your children?
A: Today my kids are 17 and 20 and I do think my childhood experience affected the way I raised them. I tried to make it safe for them to disagree with me or other adults. Today they’re comfortable speaking up for themselves, even to an authority figure. They’re confident and assertive. I’m not sure how much I consciously tied my parenting style back to my childhood trauma, or to what extent it was subconscious.
 
 
Q: Did the reporting help to give you your "power" back?
A: It did. It was the moment when I took charge of my story and made decisions about it. That said, giving this TEDx talk has taken my healing to a whole new level. Standing on stage and sharing my story, and now having it on the internet where anyone can see it, is a whole new wall of smoke and flames for me. It’s still early so I can’t say for sure, but I believe this is going to make me even stronger and more resilient.
 
 
Q: Melanie, looking back how has this trauma affected other parts or relationships in your life? More importantly, how have you continued to overcome them?
A: It’s hard to say how this has affected my relationships because I don’t know what my life would have been like if I hadn’t had this trauma. I do know that my relationships - with my now ex-husband, my children, my parents, my sisters, my close friends - have been life-giving and healing for me. The people in my inner circle have shown and shared love with me, and they have accepted me just as I am. Their love has helped me grow up to be a confident, happy adult.
 
Q: I read that you won the Moth competition, how do you think this childhood experience has impacted you as a storyteller now?
A: This TEDx talk is the first time I’ve talked about my childhood trauma on stage. However, I remember when I was a child, some days it took a lot of courage to walk into a new situation or to talk to a new adult or to be alone with a man. I think courage and boldness might be skills that we develop and build, and if so, in my childhood I build up a lot of strength. And today when I walk on stage to tell a story I tap into that strength. My heart is still beating a mile a minute but my muscles know how to overcome that.
 
Q: I’ve recently read a book where a therapist was working with a patient and was using hypnotherapy. They had buried their trauma so deep that they don’t actually remember but it was having a major impact on their life. I’m curious if your trauma was always with you, meaning you were conscious of it. Or was it something that came to the forefront more suddenly?
A: I’m not sure if this is typical but as a child I reviewed my story in my head on a regular basis. I went through the details, moment by moment, almost every day. I think I was afraid that I would forget. I knew it wasn’t recorded anywhere and perhaps I even felt my subconscious trying to bury the memory, and I was fighting against that. I didn’t want to forget.
 
Q: How does 2020 look different than 1977 in the way people think about reporting?
A: So many things today are different. In 1977 there was no sex offender database and sentencing for the few sex offenders who were caught was much lighter. There was no concept of trauma-informed care, so the act of reporting was often more traumatic than the assault itself. As a result, I think people were more hesitant to report. Our systems weren’t set up to take these reports seriously and deal with them appropriately. I’m not sure that was exclusive to the reporting of sexual assault though. It’s probably true of many other aspects of society. I hope that over the decades, as a culture we’ve become overall more compassionate and more kind and more just.
 
Q: Erin— Why do some people get to have “resilience” and some people seem to not? Is resilience also a brain neuro “function”?
A: There are many factors the contribute to resilience. Some are genetic / biological while some factors are environmental --- Nature and Nurture! Genetic and biological factors include things like…

1. The actual DNA passed down from your parents
2. The epigenetic (genes turning on and off) influences of your parents’ and grandparents’ choices (food, trauma, resourcing can all contribute)
3. Your own brain development, and co-morbid physical illnesses

Environmental factors include…

1. Home environment and parental nurturing
2. Socioeconomic factors such as the role your race, gender or sexuality affect our role in the society you grew up in or currently live
3. Specific traumatic events
4. Environmental toxins and exposures to toxic elements
5. Access to all forms of healthcare
6. Community support including religions and other community based organizational support

 
There are many more than what I’ve listed but this gives you a general idea

 
Q: Dr. Watt, how much can neuroplasticity help trauma survivors’ brains? Are there things survivors can to do instigate greater neuroplasticity?
 
A:  Neuroplasticity simply means that our brains have the ability to change through growth and reorganization. This can positively and negatively impact a trauma survivors’ brain. Some things that would promote healthy neuroplastic changes are:

1. Trauma therapy
2. Deep breathing
3. Yoga
4. Exercise and diet designed to lower stress hormones (too ridged or too much change will actually elicit a stress response)
5. Experiencing new things that engage all of your senses and stretches your intellect
6. Engaging in creative endeavors
7. Connecting with a supportive community – getting healthy validation and mirroring

 
Q: I was the victim of a molestation when I was 18 (in Nashville). I did not report it. I would like to consider reporting. I am now 50. How would I begin?
A: First, I’m sorry you had this experience. If you haven’t already, I would suggest you start by sharing your experience with a counselor. If you arrive at the conclusion that you do want to report, you can call the Metro Nashville Police Department, Sex Crimes Unit at 615-862-7786. If you want additional support on this journey, you can call the RAINN hotline at 800.656.HOPE. For local support, you can also contact the Nashville Sexual Assault Center at (866) 811-7473.

Listen below as Drake White answers some of your unanswered questions from his live Q&A after his 2020 TEDxNashville talk! 

Watch Drake's talk, 'How Paralysis Helped Me Find My True 100%' now:

First, thank you, all, for watching the TEDxNashville talk and for your great questions. Below, I offer some thoughts in bold.

Q: Why are we so polarized today? I know social media has exacerbated it, but is there something inside of all of us that is really the main reason why we are so unprecedentedly polarized today? Ezra Klein talked about the creation of mega identity today as the reason for our polarization in his book “Why we’re polarized”, but, he did not explain WHY our identities are so aligned, creating the mega identity! Also, he did not talk about any solutions, as to how to overcome the hyper polarization! What do you think?

• A: There are numerous perspectives on why we are so polarized described in books by authors such as Bill Bishop (“The Big Sort”) and Sen. Ben Sasse (“Them”). I recently read former South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg’s book “Trust,” which was also very illuminating on this question. We tend to segregate ourselves with people who are like us, culturally, politically, professionally, etc. In some cases, the bonds are kin. JD Vance talks about this family insularity in “Hillbilly Elegy.” There is a tendency, then, to see strangers as outsiders and less than equal or less than worthy of respect. If we can humanize the other, we can overcome our suspicion, fear and loathing. However, this takes effort. It takes listening and trying to find a common vocabulary to understand each other.
• I remember when I was invited to do a police ride along about 20 years ago, an officer said to me something to the effect of: “We hate the media and the media hates us.” I found it strange that he would have said that while I was about to spend eight hours with one of his colleagues in a patrol car. The conversation with the police officer I rode with that evening was remarkable, because we found that we very different, but we were able to find points of common ground, by asking questions, listening and realizing we were not necessarily going to understand each other 100%. But in eight hours, we did learn to respect each other. Facts often do not change minds, but relationships can. It’s hard to scale that, but it does take intentionality. It takes one conversation at a time.

 
Q: Give us an example of respectful disagreement in practice.

• A: I think some of the most effective ways to engage in disagreement is by using a mediation model. I took a course on conflict resolution a few years ago at Lipscomb University. The trainers described setting ground rules, agreeing to a discussion of an issue and providing opportunities to respond respectfully. The goal was not necessarily to persuade the other side but rather to come to an agreed-upon win-win solution. An advantage of this is that you go into a conversation able to prepare, reduce adverse emotional responses and come at it from a solutions perspective.
• One of the reasons social media feuds tend to go so poorly is there is no room for tone and people are compelled to respond instantly and aggressively. This will naturally result in the other side being defensive. I recommend that people not respond to emails or social media posts/tweets in anger. It’s okay to be angry, but do not let it consume you. You may decide the best course of action, after having considered your alternatives, is not to respond and to go about your day. That too is a decision and it can lead to greater peace of mind.

 
Q: ​Considering misinformation and “fake news” is so rampant now, how do you present yourself as someone who still abides by journalistic ethics to an audience who is either skeptical or already led astray?

• A: This is a great challenge. What I have found is that expressing your values and answering questions while being transparent helps a lot. It was easier when I could travel to a Rotary Club in rural Tennessee or a Memphis college campus, but virtual is the next best thing. There are folks who have incorporated “fake news” in their lexicon and it is either because journalists do not respond, or they respond in ways that a person might perceive as biased. A problem, according to research by the Pew Center and the American Press Institute, is that only about a fifth of Americans have ever met a journalist, so they may have a skewed perception of who journalists are, what we do and not know that we abide by a strict code of ethics.
  
• I have incorporated this question when someone says something outlandish to me on social media or in public: “How do you know that to be true?” Usually, it gets people to think. Conversely, I do not assume I know everything, and I tell people I am open to reading different sources and perspectives. It’s helpful and sharpens thinking and can lead to further and richer conversations.

 
Q: ​When you began the movement of better open communication, what role do you believe mental health plays in productive communication online?

• ​A: Tending to mental health is so important. Anger, fear and insecurity lead to very poor outcomes in communication. It is critical to do one’s best to prepare for difficult conversations and know when to engage and disengage. Healthy ways to do this is to have hobbies that stimulate your mind, but distract you from the noise, such as, gardening, running or walking, playing an instrument, cooking, etc. Stephen Covey, who wrote “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” called it “sharpening the saw.” We can’t always be “on” and we need those times to recharge our brains and mental states. Rest and a healthy diet are very important for this well.