David Plazas Q&A

First, thank you, all, for watching the TEDxNashville talk and for your great questions. Below, I offer some thoughts in bold.

Q: Why are we so polarized today? I know social media has exacerbated it, but is there something inside of all of us that is really the main reason why we are so unprecedentedly polarized today? Ezra Klein talked about the creation of mega identity today as the reason for our polarization in his book “Why we’re polarized”, but, he did not explain WHY our identities are so aligned, creating the mega identity! Also, he did not talk about any solutions, as to how to overcome the hyper polarization! What do you think?

• A: There are numerous perspectives on why we are so polarized described in books by authors such as Bill Bishop (“The Big Sort”) and Sen. Ben Sasse (“Them”). I recently read former South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg’s book “Trust,” which was also very illuminating on this question. We tend to segregate ourselves with people who are like us, culturally, politically, professionally, etc. In some cases, the bonds are kin. JD Vance talks about this family insularity in “Hillbilly Elegy.” There is a tendency, then, to see strangers as outsiders and less than equal or less than worthy of respect. If we can humanize the other, we can overcome our suspicion, fear and loathing. However, this takes effort. It takes listening and trying to find a common vocabulary to understand each other.
• I remember when I was invited to do a police ride along about 20 years ago, an officer said to me something to the effect of: “We hate the media and the media hates us.” I found it strange that he would have said that while I was about to spend eight hours with one of his colleagues in a patrol car. The conversation with the police officer I rode with that evening was remarkable, because we found that we very different, but we were able to find points of common ground, by asking questions, listening and realizing we were not necessarily going to understand each other 100%. But in eight hours, we did learn to respect each other. Facts often do not change minds, but relationships can. It’s hard to scale that, but it does take intentionality. It takes one conversation at a time.

 
Q: Give us an example of respectful disagreement in practice.

• A: I think some of the most effective ways to engage in disagreement is by using a mediation model. I took a course on conflict resolution a few years ago at Lipscomb University. The trainers described setting ground rules, agreeing to a discussion of an issue and providing opportunities to respond respectfully. The goal was not necessarily to persuade the other side but rather to come to an agreed-upon win-win solution. An advantage of this is that you go into a conversation able to prepare, reduce adverse emotional responses and come at it from a solutions perspective.
• One of the reasons social media feuds tend to go so poorly is there is no room for tone and people are compelled to respond instantly and aggressively. This will naturally result in the other side being defensive. I recommend that people not respond to emails or social media posts/tweets in anger. It’s okay to be angry, but do not let it consume you. You may decide the best course of action, after having considered your alternatives, is not to respond and to go about your day. That too is a decision and it can lead to greater peace of mind.

 
Q: ​Considering misinformation and “fake news” is so rampant now, how do you present yourself as someone who still abides by journalistic ethics to an audience who is either skeptical or already led astray?

• A: This is a great challenge. What I have found is that expressing your values and answering questions while being transparent helps a lot. It was easier when I could travel to a Rotary Club in rural Tennessee or a Memphis college campus, but virtual is the next best thing. There are folks who have incorporated “fake news” in their lexicon and it is either because journalists do not respond, or they respond in ways that a person might perceive as biased. A problem, according to research by the Pew Center and the American Press Institute, is that only about a fifth of Americans have ever met a journalist, so they may have a skewed perception of who journalists are, what we do and not know that we abide by a strict code of ethics.
  
• I have incorporated this question when someone says something outlandish to me on social media or in public: “How do you know that to be true?” Usually, it gets people to think. Conversely, I do not assume I know everything, and I tell people I am open to reading different sources and perspectives. It’s helpful and sharpens thinking and can lead to further and richer conversations.

 
Q: ​When you began the movement of better open communication, what role do you believe mental health plays in productive communication online?

• ​A: Tending to mental health is so important. Anger, fear and insecurity lead to very poor outcomes in communication. It is critical to do one’s best to prepare for difficult conversations and know when to engage and disengage. Healthy ways to do this is to have hobbies that stimulate your mind, but distract you from the noise, such as, gardening, running or walking, playing an instrument, cooking, etc. Stephen Covey, who wrote “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” called it “sharpening the saw.” We can’t always be “on” and we need those times to recharge our brains and mental states. Rest and a healthy diet are very important for this well.